Never Forget The Importance of Style

15. Southward bound

The yard of the inn was bustling with people, horses, carriages, luggage, stablehands busy with aforementioned horses, and servants busy with aforementioned luggage. The entire scene was watched over by the deep brown eyes of the innkeeper's large, furry dog that was lazily sitting next to the stairs, an air of bored disinterest hovering around it. To the dog, this was all a familiar enough sight: the rectangular yard, framed on three sides by the inn and the stables and storehouses flanking it, on the fourth by a fence and a wide double gate.

The dog also knew well enough what was outside: some houses, some trees, and some more houses, none of them particularly large. Most of them were surrounded by little gardens, with apple and cherry trees and the occasional rose bush, and these in turn were surrounded by neat white fences. And every fence had a gate, albeit much smaller than the one in front of the inn, all opening to the main road running through the little village that proudly called itself by the name of Mell-Sheless.

The dog knew all this well enough. Even though he was supposed to stay on the yard of the inn at all times, he was not above taking a little stroll every now and then, especially as his rather intimidating size ensured that none of the other dogs of Mell-Sheless dared cross his path when he did so. He also knew well enough that the current commotion reigning on the yard was nothing to get ruffled at. It was perfectly ordinary, it happened almost every day. And if two coaches had now arrived on the same day, instead of just one, which would've been more commonplace, so what?

There probably was a perfectly good reason for it - such as the Wejasch-Sorelat main road being under repairs - but it meant nothing for the big dog. For the people it meant that all coaches traveling between the two cities were forced to use a narrower, slower route that threw their timetables into disarray and had caused the passengers of two packed coaches to land for the night in the same little inn. The big dog, however, was thoroughly used to the phenomenon that whenever there were more people, there was also more noise. And as far as he was concerned, all the people bursting out of the big boxes pulled by horses had legitimate business to be here. Evening was approaching but it was still light, the gate was open, and the innkeeper's employees had been there to welcome the arrivals. All those were sure signs that everything was as it should be.

The dog sighed, was about to let its head fall to rest on its broad paws, then perked up once more. Its nostrils trembled - there, there it was. The wicker crate that a flustered lady's maid was carrying up the stairs, it contained something that smelled of bitch. The fluffy white thing inside it was barking indignantly, the big guard dog blinked a couple of times and quickly lost interest. It smelled of bitch all right, but it also smelled of many other things, none of them too enticing. He yawned widely, spared a passing glance at the two men standing a few steps away from him, and decided to take a nap, totally ignoring the piece of major drama that was unfolding under his very eyes.

"I don't believe it!"

To a casual observer, Leone no doubt looked as imperturbable as always, the very picture of refined detachment. A casual observer might even have marveled at his cool appearance, considering that on closer inspection the slight creases of his dove-blue suit suggested that he'd only recently unfolded his long limbs from the no doubt uncomfortably cramped confines of a crowded coach. And yet, someone who knew him could perhaps have told that it took quite some effort to smother the smile that was making his lips twitch, no matter how hard he bit the inside of his cheek. With a heroic effort he managed to school his features into a sufficiently nondescript mask, and was actually quite proud of himself when it didn't crack even after he hazarded another glance at Merdos' blankly horrified face.

"This is not a question of faith. It's the truth," he said mildly.

"But... but..." the dark man spluttered, "why don't we go to another inn?"

Leone heaved a little sigh and looked around.

"Where do you propose to find such an establishment before nightfall?"

Merdos, too, let his gaze sweep around the yard and then frowned. "What do you mean?"

"I asked, where and how you intend to find another inn before it gets dark," Leone repeated patiently, his voice suspiciously level. "You see, just in case you haven't noticed, there is no other inn in this village. If my memory serves me right, the next inn is about twenty miles from here. And it'll be dark soon."

Merdos stared at his friend, comprehension gradually setting in.

"Are you saying," he began hoarsely, "that we must stay here? In that room?"

"That would seem to be about right," Leone nodded. "Moreover, this place usually gets only one coach per day, if even that, and now there are two that'll stay here for the night. So there aren't that may rooms available, let alone choose from. Thus I recommend that you start being reasonable and come with me right now, or somebody just might snatch it from under our noses and we end up sleeping in the hay."

Of course that wasn't very likely to happen. Torell was nowhere in sight, nor were the small trunks that held their most important necessities for the journey, and that could only mean one thing: Torell had been wise enough to slip first away from the coach, before it had properly rolled to a stop, and gone in to secure that his masters and himself had beds to sleep in for the night. The incomparable valet was a man who had his priorities straight and clear. He had taken care of the important things and trusted that his master would handle the delicate task of breaking the news to Merdos, who was far from a seasoned traveler and therefore tended to view every new constraint placed upon himself by the circumstances as a personal affront.

But Merdos, unaware of the reassuring truth that Torell's temporary absence signified, blanched visibly and looked even more shocked than a few moments earlier. Not that it made Leone feel in the least guilty.

"In - the - hay?"

"The stables," Leone elaborated airily. "Not nearly as unpleasant as it sounds. I've tried it a couple of times, years ago, and in fact it can be very nice - provided that there are good blankets, so that the hay doesn't get everywhere, and provided that the hay is not moldy."

"Don't be morbid!" Merdos dug up his cigarette case with a slightly shaking hand, picked out one, lit it and took a long drag.

"What's morbid about clean, dry, fresh-smelling hay?" Leone looked supremely innocent. "It's soft, too. But it can be damn uncomfortable for anything too physical, contrary to what stories might suggest. Nothing wrong with it otherwise, but pieces of dry hay in the wrong places can be downright painful."

"Will you please be serious for a moment?" Merdos huffed in exasperation.

"I'm completely serious." Leone lit a cigarette for himself. "So, what's your choice? A bed in a room, or blankets in hay?"

"A bed, in a room, with a bathroom," Merdos said darkly. "Surely that cannot be too much to ask?"

"Honey, believe me, I absolutely detest the very thought!" Leone shook his head solemnly. "I mean, to think of you on your way to and from the bathroom... traipsing along corridors, wearing nothing but a towel... droplets still running down your exquisite skin... your ebony hair wet and mussed in a way that will make even a saint indulge in sinful thoughts of ravishing you on the spot..." He winked to Merdos whose cheeks had turned slightly pink. "But I still prefer a bed to a haystack."

"But - no bathroom!"

"There is a bathroom," Leone said. "Two for each floor. That's not a bad deal."

Merdos shook his head, feet firmly planted on the yard, and didn't budge. Leone folded his arms on his chest; apparently it was time to start using heavy artillery.

"The haystack has no bathroom," he pointed out. "Just water from the well. And I might add that water taken straight from the well is usually either cold, extremely cold, or absolutely bone-freezing cold."

Merdos swallowed.

"Compared to that, a nice hot - okay, at least warm - bath with me shouldn't sound too bad."

"All right." Merdos took a deep breath and glanced over his shoulder at the entrance to the inn with the face of a man about to walk the plank. "I suppose I'll survive."

"That's my man..."

They ascended the low stairs side by side, Merdos looking increasingly suspicious at each step, and reached the spacious, albeit currently overcrowded, entrance hall of the inn. Instantly their senses were assaulted by overwhelming heat and a rich mixture of scents - harness leather, beer, sweat of horses and humans, spices, cooking meat, and fresh bread. On the counter, behind which the innkeeper was busily negotiating the accommodations with several insistent and rather loud passengers at once, stood a bowl from which wafted yet another aroma, that of a flowery potpourri that apparently still hoped to somehow sweeten the atmosphere. However, the slight hint of over-blossomed ripeness that it added to the cacophony of scents did nothing to make the air more palatable.

A few steps away from the hustle and bustle stood a familiar figure, smartly dressed in a dark suit. Leone grinned as Torell jerked his head towards the stairs, not even trying to make himself heard over the rather vociferous discussion, and raised a hand from which dangled a key chain. Merdos looked ready to faint, but meekly let his friend's firm hand on the small of his back guide himself away from the crowd and to the stairs.

"You're a treasure, as always," Leone said as he took the keys from Torell's hand. The servant smiled and began to climb the steps. "Coming, honeybun?"

An amply dimensioned lady, standing at the foot of the stairs and furiously fanning herself, granted them a scandalized look. Leone chose to acknowledge it with one of his most leonine smiles, the one that came complete with a fang - he was aware of the fact that some quirk of nature had made his eyeteeth visibly longer and pointier than their neighbors, and that they could be bared just enough to make him look distinctly predatory. The lady quickly turned away and Leone ushered Merdos up and into the first floor corridor. It was lined on both sides by doors, and he almost cheered when he found the number matching his keys and observed that one of the two bathrooms serving this corridor was almost directly opposite to their room.

Torell answered his master's grateful thumbs-up with a tiny smirk, and slipped into his own room. Of course it was small, but it was strategically situated next door to Leone and Merdos, and it contained everything he needed: a bed. It was also tidy and clean, the bed linen crisp and fresh-smelling, and a swipe across the top of a small chest of drawers didn't leave any telltale stripes across grime. All right, there was some dust, but that really couldn't be avoided in a place like this, so close to the road, and on such a hot day when the windows simply had to be opened frequently. Torell nodded to himself, then frowned. He hadn't had the opportunity to check the rooms in advance, seeing that the place was going to be packed and knowing that booking any rooms was infinitely more important than fussing about their condition. But it also meant that he could only hope that the gentlemen weren't faced with any unwelcome surprises.

On the other side of the wall, Leone sighed in relief and threw himself down on the double bed, sprawling all over it. Merdos was far less relaxed. He was standing in the middle of the room, closely resembling a cat that suddenly, inexplicably, finds itself floating in a small, jittery washtub in the middle of a very large pond.

"Is this all?" he asked, tone bordering on desperate. "Just this one room?"

"What more do you need?" Leone countered. "This, my dear, is no hotel. This is an inn - and a very nice one at that."

"What's so nice about this place?" Merdos the cat turned cautiously around, nose wrinkling. "It's small, it's smelly, there's no bathroom..."

"It's clean, the smell means we can actually get something to eat downstairs, and there are two bathrooms per floor, not just one for the whole place!" Leone bounced experimentally on the bed and smiled mischievously. "And I have some more good news for you: this bed doesn't squeak!"

"Hmph." Merdos sat carefully down on a high-backed chair that stood primly next to the door. "Why the hell are we subjected to all this indignity?"

"Such lofty language... baby, just in case you've forgotten, we're on our way to Dirna." Leone kicked off his shoes and shifted to sit on the very edge of the bed, so that he could lean forward and start unbuttoning Merdos 's jacket. "Which, I recall, was your idea in the first place."

"If I had realized just how much trouble traveling is, I would've thought twice," Merdos grumbled. Leone shook his head with a smile.

"You're so spoiled!" he chided. "Honestly, what trouble have we had so far?"

"What trouble? Well, for instance last night we reached Wejasch so late that the best rooms at the hotel were already taken!" Merdos looked challenging but Leone just barely managed to not roll his eyes.

"Please... I didn't notice that you'd have slept any less soundly in the second-best rooms," he drawled. "And as to our coming in so late, who was it again that insisted 9 o'clock in the morning was absolutely too early to catch a coach?"

"And now we're here, in this miserable village, without a single decent hotel around!" Merdos refused to be distracted by Leone's fingers that were pulling off his tie and slipping under his shirt collar to open the topmost button. "First we're jolted back and forth in the carriage, and nearly suffocated, and crushed to death, and now we're here. We can't get anything proper to eat, and it's not even possible to have a nice bath!"

"Oh, shut up!" Leone grabbed Merdos' wrist and yanked him so that they both landed side by side on the bed. "And listen to me for a change! We'll take a breather now. In a moment we'll go downstairs where I guarantee that we'll get something to silence our stomachs. After that we'll keep an eye on the bathroom and go to have a bath together when it's free. Now stop whining, will you?"

"You sound like this wasn't anything new to you." Despite his undignified position on the bed, Merdos still managed to sound disgruntled.

"Maybe because it's not." Leone shrugged and rolled around so that he could snake an arm around his friend. "I've done some traveling, you know that. But I can't help wondering - I know you must've been to some horribly expensive private school to get your education. And I know there's no such place in or very near Livena, so you must've traveled to one. How did you survive the trips there?"

"Father used to take me," Merdos said sulkily. "Which reminds me! Why the hell couldn't we borrow father's carriage?"

"It would hardly be fair to spirit away his carriage for who knows how long!" Leone shook his head. "And besides, if we didn't have at least some schedules to keep, I swear we'd never get to Dirna."

"Oh? And why not?"

"With your penchant for sleeping late, we wouldn't get five miles a day," Leone chuckled. "And that means we would need over two months to get to Dirna, instead of two-three weeks as normal people do."

"You're acting so damnably cool about it!" Merdos huffed. "So none of it bothers you at all?"

"Of course it does," Leone said more gently. "It's just that when you want to get somewhere, you've got to weigh your options and then pay the price. If you want to travel with maximum comfort, be prepared to pay yourself sick and spend an awful lot of time on the road. If you want to get to your destination relatively quick, then be prepared to endure some discomfort - after all you know that it won't last very long then. That makes it easier to ignore."

"Ignore?" Merdos looked dubious. "How do you ignore stifling heat, or stench, or back pain?"

"To ignore," Leone kissed him, "means to not pay attention. To think of something else. Take the heat, for example - it bothers everybody, but there's no helping it. Requesting more frequent pauses than what the horses need means that it'll take that much longer before we all reach the next stop where we can unwind..." He kissed Merdos again. "As for the coach being crowded, it's the same for everybody. All of us are cramped and uncomfortable. But if you just concentrate on thinking of something else, it'll be easier to take. Instead of concentrating on the misery of the moment, think of other things, and the journey will be over in a whiff."

"What other things?" Merdos asked breathlessly, mesmerized by Leone's lips grazing up and down on his throat.

"Something cool... sea breeze... lemon sherbet... rain..." Leone licked playfully the tip of Merdos' nose. "Under no circumstances think of what you'd like to do with somebody in the same carriage."

Merdos groaned. "Did you really think that telling me that helps somehow?" he asked incredulously. "Believe me, so far sex has been the farthest thing from my mind during the journeys, but I'm not sure it will be from now on!"

"Then steer your mind away from it," Leone advised. "Now, baby, do you think we've cooled down enough to have something to eat?"

"Cooled..." Merdos heaved a sigh. "How about a bath first?"

Leone pushed himself up from the bed and shook his head. "Nope... we can't possibly bathe twice tonight, there are others wanting to use the bathroom. And I'd much rather have a bath after we've done sweating for the day..."

Merdos relented with much grumbling, and grumbled some more when Leone told him that the most practical thing to do would be to leave their jackets in the room - nobody downstairs would mind seeing two handsome young men having dinner in their shirts and vests. Finally he accepted the suggestion, and together they descended the stairs into the bar of the inn, their steps accompanied by Merdos' gloomily muttered predictions, the gist of which was that all available food was likely to be utterly and completely inedible and the drinks even more so.

Bathed in late afternoon sun and heated not only by numerous people but also by the kitchen behind the wall, the bar was indeed warm as the antechambers of hell. Merdos cast a suspicious glance around the big room. Many of the tables were already occupied, but they managed to find a small table for two and secure it for themselves before the other recently arrived guests, many of whom were following them down the stairs, had time to react.

Leone sighed in satisfaction and stretched his legs under the table so that he could squeeze one of Merdos' ankles between his feet. He noticed in passing that they were being looked at from several tables, with more or less open appreciation, but paid no attention. He was not interested and besides, his experienced eyes were already skimming over the people busy behind the counter.

In addition to the innkeeper, a friendly-looking bald man of about fifty, there was a strikingly pretty girl and an equally striking lad of about sixteen or seventeen. The girl noticed them and her expression brightened at the prospect of some flirting with handsome travelers - but Leone had already managed to catch the boy's eye.

Merdos had just enough time to notice the wink. The next thing he registered was that the boy had slipped from behind the counter and was obviously determined to beat his big sister in the race towards the table occupied by the two young gentlemen. With a step that carried him forward with astonishing speed, especially considering how unhurried it looked, the boy appeared next to Leone and Merdos a scant moment before the girl, and flashed them an adorable smile. Merdos also saw how the young lady slung a venomous glance at the back of little brother's head before retreating to lick her wounds. After that he didn't see anything else but the boy's blue eyes for several long minutes. Nothing else, that is, except the totally outrageous way in which Leone was flirting with the boy who gleefully played along.

Merdos listened to the innuendo-laced exchange with only half an ear, decided that the boy was so pretty that he couldn't possibly get mad at Leone for taking the opportunity, and was mildly disappointed when the boy all too soon nodded and scooted off.

Leone grinned to him and raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"What 'what'?"

"Why the look? Aren't you happy with my choices?"

"Choices?" Merdos' gaze wandered towards the counter. The innkeeper's daughter was trying her very best to show her brother, without actually saying anything, just how thoroughly she disapproved the way in which he had upstaged her. Said brother was mixing together two liquids that suspiciously looked like white wine and lemonade, a most self-satisfied smirk on his sculpted face.

Leone laughed, foot climbing a little higher along Merdos' leg.

"Yes, choices. I ordered a jug of white lemonade and two helpings of their rabbit stew. Didn't you hear a thing?"

"I suppose not." Merdos sighed. "You shouldn't flirt like that, you know. It's not fair."

"Since when is flirting not fair?" Leone pursed his lips. "It's merely a sign of appreciation. Oh, the boy's not a fool - he knows he won't be sleeping with either of us tonight. But what says I shouldn't spice up his life a little, by letting him know that I'd greatly appreciate getting more closely acquainted with his charms if only I wasn't taken already?"

"You're a talker," Merdos huffed, then concentrated again on appreciating the more visible charms of the lad who was approaching their table with a large jug in his hands.

He was forced to admit, though grudgingly, that the seemingly so unholy mixture of white wine and lemonade actually tasted wonderfully refreshing, and that the rabbit stew that arrived a little bit later, generously garnished with salad and bread, was actually downright delicious. But even though he managed not to backpedal so much as to actually say it aloud, he still felt very satisfied and very mellow by the time they had polished off their meals and Leone poured the last drops from the jug into their glasses.

"Empty?" Merdos raised a black eyebrow, and his partner made a face.

"I'm afraid so... we might take some with us to the room, just in case we get thirsty at some point." Leone winked.

"A very good idea," Merdos said solemnly. "It's such a warm night, and I do want to make up for lost time. Good hotel or not, but goddamn it, they should pay more attention to those bedsprings!"

Leone grinned to him, then noticed that a young couple sitting not far from them were about to choke on their meals, and bit his tongue in order to not start laughing aloud. Quickly he gulped down the last of his drink and stood up with a charming smile.

"Shall we go, honey?"

They lounged for a good while in their room, getting progressively less dressed. By the time most of their fellow travelers were taking turns to use the bathroom, the sounds from behind the opposite door were loud enough to guarantee that there was very little need to guess what the room's occupants were doing. More than one person returned from the bathing trip very flustered and very hastily, while a few actually seemed to linger a while at the door, ostensibly looking for something they had presumably forgotten.

Leone and Merdos were among the last ones to use the bathroom, and they slipped in together, wearing only a towel wrapped around the waist. They were considerate enough not to stay there very long before returning to their room and locking the door for the night.

The innkeeper's son sighed quietly in his hiding place at the end of the corridor, and stood cautiously up from where he'd been crouched behind a large armchair. His legs were tingling, and he stretched them before padding away. Well, at least he had spied the handsome gentlemen largely undressed, twice. And good heavens but they looked good... His hand brushed wistfully over the front of his dark trousers, then he shook his head and began to tiptoe away.

When he was almost by that door, he heard a faint creak and stopped, heart beating madly.

"Is something the matter?"

The valet... The boy quickly shook his head. "No," he stammered, "I mean, I just came to check that everything's tidy here."

Torell smiled at the boy. "Let me assure you that everything is certainly all right here. The gentlemen have retired for the night."

"Yes." The boy swallowed. "I - uh - well, I'll be going then..."

"Are you sure that you wouldn't want to come in for a while?" The corner of Torell's mouth twitched a little as the boy gaped at him. "I'm afraid the gentlemen are preoccupied for the moment, but you look like you could use some company."

The boy blushed to the roots of his hair as the dark valet's gaze raked him up and down and very visibly stopped at his groin. Then the words sunk in, and he slowly raised his face to look at the man. Tallish, slim, nice-looking, with dark experienced eyes.

"Yeah," he ground out. "I guess you're right, sir."

Merdos frowned and raised his head but didn't bother to open his eyes as he heard the muffled groan.

"What's it?" Leone mumbled.

"That noise," Merdos said and yawned. "Somebody's having a good time, somewhere near. Sounds strangely like the pretty boy."

"Oh." Leone turned on his back and stretched his arms before settling once more against his lover. "Torell is a man of many talents."

Merdos blinked a few times, heard another moan and sighed as realization dawned. "Oh... I see. Do you now speak from own experience, by the way?"

"Oddly enough, no." Leone kissed him lazily. "But rest assured that the boy will have pleasurable memories of our visit here - even though I didn't invite him to a threesome with us."

"Would you have wanted to?"

"Not really. I should be worried, though. I'm getting awfully monogamous, and besides goddamn jealous of you." Merdos could feel Leone grinning in the darkness. "Would you?"

"What? Want a threesome?" Merdos smiled sleepily and nuzzled closer to the blonde man. "No... and the boy is in good hands anyway. I know Torell always does his best to please. I just hope he remembers to sleep, too. Aren't we driving on in the morning?"

"We are," Leone confirmed. "And hey, it was you who said that! I'll make a traveler out of you yet!"