About a dozen or so schoolchildren are walking down the street in neat pairs, mittened hand in mittened hand. One teacher is spearheading their smart little formation and another one trails after them to make sure that nobody strays from the group. No, actually I think they're too small to be in school yet – maybe they're from a kindergarten?

I watch them as they cross the street and continue onwards on the other side. Probably going to the park; it lies in that direction, not very many blocks away, and indeed I can see them take the turn left before they disappear behind the corner. Yes, most definitely their destination would be the park.

I've gone on a few walks there already, every time exploring the place a little bit further. Altogether it must be about three miles long, lining the small river Roagh that slithers through the city on its way to join the mighty Czorhass. As nice as it is to walk there now, I wish I could see the place in the summer. I'm sure it's absolutely delightful, I can tell that much even through all the snow.

Here, right within the city, it's more orderly and organized, straight rows of trees providing the backdrop for decorative bushes and playgrounds. When I've walked a bit further to where the taller buildings give way first to family houses and finally to field, there it's another story. Frozen rushes stick their heads from the snow on the riverbanks, whispering of bygone summer days. Ducks rest beside black holes carved by undercurrents into the ice covering most of the river. Once I've even seen a hare in close range, a surprise encounter that probably left us both equally startled.

I can feel a smile tickling my lips as I look once more at the paper in front of me. Local news, of which I still can't really make head or tail because I don't know the people and places they're telling about. I guess I'll learn yet, though.

This is Gardhann, in County Laineam, and I'm now spending my fourth whole day here. Well, actually this is my fourth day, period – we arrived towards the evening on Sunday afternoon and there wasn't really any time to go looking around before nightfall.

I must say that the company that requested Fordan's assistance here sure has spared no effort to ensure it. We had detailed directions and exhaustive information about the connections and available accommodation already well before boarding the riverboat in Deleon. They couldn't know exactly when we'd be where – not even the efficient Revnashi have quite managed to create ships and coaches that could meet timetables to the minute – but everything was ready anyway. Tickets and cabin up to the river port of Gereas? Booked well in advance and forwarded to us by a special courier. Coach to take us from Gereas to Gardhann? Ready to roll in half an hour after we'd left the ship and inquired in the office our instructions specified. Our lodgings in Gardhann? Just waiting for our arrival, freshly tidied and aired.

It's a convenient apartment, not very large but it has everything we need. Even better, it's part of a hotel building so there's always hot water available and we can go for breakfast or dinner in their restaurant if we don't feel like cooking for ourselves. They'd even left an information package there for us: a city map, directions to the company's office, contact information for several people who could help us with everything under the sun.

Yes, we're well looked after. They must really want to have Fordan here, and indeed he's been practically sizzling with enthusiasm ever since returning from their first meeting on Monday. He's also constantly looking oh so guilty every day when he leaves for work, apologizing because he was so immediately sucked into the project and isn't there to make sure I'd get properly settled in. I keep telling him every day not to worry, that I can look out for myself and make sure I won't be bored to death.

No, indeed I won't. Something large moves in my peripheral vision and I raise my eyes from the paper. A brace of heavy draught horses, pale chestnut in color, are plodding along the street with determined gait, exhaling clouds of steam as they pull a veritable mountain of beer barrels. Their harness proudly displays the emblem of the brewery their load comes from, and I can't help smiling as I watch their steady progress. I've seen these horses before, and right now I wish Fordan was here with me. He'd be able to tell me whether or not they are Triell horse crosses; I suspect they aren't, somehow they don't look quite thoroughbred enough.

Now Fordan would laugh at me and then say that he understands nevertheless what I mean, even though it still sounds funny to compare the gigantic Triell horses to thoroughbreds.

I'm sitting alone at my small table in this cafe, just like most of the maybe ten or dozen other customers, but still feel as if he were sitting right next to me. It's very strange, but I think I enjoy it... and why do I hesitate even now? I do enjoy it, most certainly do.

Perhaps I'm just imagining it, but I've never felt quite as close with Fordan as during all this time when we were first preparing for this trip and then actually traveling here. So much to do, so many things to arrange, but somehow his enthusiasm and confidence proved contagious, once I'd agreed to come with him. I guess his parents also had quite a lot to do with it, seeing how warmly they supported us both.

"That's exactly what you should do," Krischmerion said with emphasis when I still hesitated. "You're right, it could easily be a disastrous thing for his future career if he now declines this offer, but he needs you there with him."

"You'll keep his feet on the ground," Shantiam would add with a little smile. "Honestly, Nash, do it."

So I did, said yes I would come to Gardhann with him, and I guess that's when he finally came out to his coworkers and boss. I only realized it afterwards, though. I couldn't figure why he was somehow nervous on the day after I'd agreed to go with him, but thinking back to it now, I understand that Shanti and Krisch had to know.

Can't help wondering how they have felt about it, though. Why would Fordan of all people want to keep it a secret that he's gay?

Has he been somehow ashamed of it? But then, nothing else in his behavior has ever suggested anything of the kind. Has he wanted to keep quiet about it to somehow protect his parents, not wanting to give people reason to say 'what did I tell you'? Heaven knows there are quite enough people who'd just see it as proof that being gay is somehow contagious, never mind that three of the four boys Krisch and Shanti adopted have turned out as straight as can be. But no, that's equally ridiculous. Fordan may not have expressly told anybody at work, but he has never exactly hidden it, either.

I guess I'll never quite understand it. All I know that on that very day, we'd agreed to meet at his parents' house, and that there was something very penetrating in Krischmerion's dark eyes when Fordan arrived, smiling and somehow relieved. I can still remember the exchange almost word to word.

"Looks like you're indeed going together," Krisch says to Fordan, and it isn't a question. I look anxiously into his face as he hugs me with one arm and kisses me.

"Yes," Fordan says. "I told the boss that I'd be very happy to go but that my partner would come along. And that I'd of course cover any additional costs arising from that."

"And what did your boss say?" Krisch inquires.

"Looked surprised but said that in that case he'd inform the other party without delay and ask them to book both of our tickets at the same time, that it's by far the simplest way to proceed."

I remember that funny little smile on Krisch's face, and I also think I heard Shanti mutter 'well about bloody time too'. Back then I thought it was because Fordan was a bit late, but I'm not so sure about that any more.

Late... I'm jolted back to Gardhann, County Laineam, when the clock on the wall strikes four and another client looks up with a start, then hastily gathers his books – my guess is that he's a student – and gets up to leave. I guess I should do the same, I want to be there when Fordan comes. He probably won't be back for another half hour or so, but I'll need a while to walk there.

The girl behind the counter smiles and wishes me a good day when I pay for my tea and exit the place. Must remember this little cafe, maybe we could come here together on the weekend? It's a nice walk away from our apartment, not too far away, and the sandwiches were really good.

The city map is in my pocket but I won't use it now. I remember well enough the route I've walked, I already recognize quite a few of these streets and will find my way back even without consulting it. Turn right here, walk two blocks, and – ah I remembered correctly, here's this tiny little park with the beautiful iron fence! Not far away any more, just a few more turns and I can already see the hotel. The entrance to our current home is just around the corner.

I'm barely inside when I hear steps on the low flight of stairs leading to the front door. Fordan looks surprised when I push the door open, he's only had time to reach out for the handle when it opens.

"Did you watch out for me, or what?" He smiles, a little flustered from brisk walking.

"Just got in myself and heard you coming," I correct. "Are you hungry, shall we have dinner now or later?"

"Oh, not right away," Fordan says. "What about you?"

"I won't starve even if we dine a little later. I haven't got anything here, though."

"That's all right, let's go somewhere out."

I turn to go in, but the arms wrapping around my waist stop me as they pull me against his chest. The surprise makes me gasp, and Fordan laughs. His coat is still cold from the outside air.

"Tomorrow," he murmurs into my neck, "tomorrow there's going to be something special."

"What then?"

"Our hosts have invited us for a dinner at – uh, what was the name of that place again? Haymarket-something?"

"Haymarket Well," I supply automatically. I remember seeing the place, in fact I even remember reading about it. The finest place in Gardhann, unless my memory is failing me completely. Fordan hugs me closer.

"I was pretty sure you'd know about it," he says with an audible smile. "That's the place. We'll go there tomorrow at seven."

"You mean you'll go."

"No, Nash. We will," Fordan says patiently and turns me around so that we're face to face. "Try to get it now. They are aware of your existence, and they made a point of asking us both to join them for something of a welcome dinner. They regretted very much that this now comes a bit late, seeing that we've already been here for a week, but they'd thought that it wouldn't be too nice to go out in the middle of the week. Yes, Nash, most definitely it means both of us."

I'm still not quite sure about that.

"All right, so they are polite and have invited us both, but what's to say that they might not be hoping that I'd not show up after all? And are you sure you want me there?"

"You are such a complicated creature that sometimes I really don't know what to do!" Fordan groans. "Why not take things at face value every now and then? We've both been invited, I don't want to go alone, it'd be no end impolite if I first thank for the invitation and then refuse the next day, and surely you don't really want to stay here alone, either?"

I sigh, accepting defeat. "I just hope you won't have to be too much ashamed of me, though, when I can't discuss anything intelligent. I bet they won't be able to understand why you should be dragging along someone like me."

Fordan looks at me almost angrily, then just snaps his mouth shut.

"How about that dinner today, though? Shall we be lazy and go to the other side, I don't really feel like walking very far?"

I wish I knew why he's cross with me.

We go to the hotel restaurant that is just around the corner from our apartment, and Fordan talks about this and that, completely casual. He asks what I've done today, tells about their program on this first week, never alluding to the Friday dinner throughout the evening.

Back in our own side we hardly say a word to each other before bedtime. Fordan has some papers he needs to read and I leave him in peace until he's done with them. I'm half expecting him to turn his back to me, but instead he rolls closer and kisses me, hands unerringly finding their way to my body.

He's as close to rough as he has ever been with me. After he's fallen asleep I stare into the darkness until I can see dancing dots of color and wonder what has gone wrong.