Here you'll find

 

Into the Light

 

 

 

 

10. You Do Something to Me

"Toni?"

What the hell is it now, can't you see and hear that I'm busy... no, this shirt simply won't do. Not at all. It's too - something. Not right, anyway.

"Toni..."

Is there perhaps something wrong with your ears, Chaim? How many times do I need to tell you...

"Hey, what's happening?"

Did you know, Chaim, that for some reason that's one of your absolutely sexiest poses, leaning against the doorframe with your arms loosely folded on your chest, one eyebrow raised, that tiny smile on your lips? It doesn't matter at all that you're fully clothed, it looks damn sexy anyway. "Do you need to ask? Never seen me get dressed before?"

"You were already dressed when I saw you last, which was less than an hour ago," Chaim tells me.

How astute of you. "I wanted to change," I explain with some more emphasis than I'd normally use, but hey, as if it wasn't obvious enough otherwise!

"Yes, and you're so totally absorbed in the task that you can't even speak. Or was that grunting supposed to be an answer?"

I snort. "Ha ha, aren't you funny today? I'm going out, so I wanted to change. Is there something strange about that?"

"Don't remember seeing that shirt before." He looks appraisingly at the one I've picked up from the rack. "Looks new."

"How amazing, considering that it is new." I discard my other shirt and pull the new one on. It has a low stand-up collar and is completely sleeveless. Chaim whistles quietly as I start buttoning it. "What was that supposed to mean?"

"Smart," he says appreciatively. "Very smart. I bet it feels comfortable under a jacket."

"At least it should feel nice and cool." I look at myself in the mirror. Not bad at all. And it does feel good.

"Chaim, what's - oh!" Kim hasn't been able to wait. Chaim's been out of his sight a minute too long, considering that it's me Chaim probably is with. Kim is still mistrustful, to put it mildly, where I'm concerned. Too bad that Chaim has shown no inclination to justify his suspicions... He peers at me, blue eyes going round. "Are you going out?"

"Bull's eye, baby!" I smirk to him because I know he doesn't appreciate it. "Yeah, I'm going out so you can play the afternoon with Chaim without me around to disturb."

"You don't disturb me," Kim retorts immediately, voice tinged with both challenge and scorn.

I grin. It's fun to tease him; I know that my presence still bothers him, and I love to point it out to him. He vehemently denies it every time, because he wants to show me he's above such pettiness, and yet we both know that's not entirely true. And Chaim, the object of our tug-of-war, pretends to be oblivious although he's everything but - he just has a hard time deciding to whose defense he should leap, and therefore chooses to ignore us unless we get altogether too irritating.

So I just flash Kim a knowing leer and then turn my attention back to the mirror. I like what I see, so I grab the jacket and pull it on.

"Have you got another date with that redhead?" Chaim asks.

Excuse me? No way in hell! Chaim, my friend, you'd better watch your words now - Toni doesn't date. Absolutely not.

"I'm meeting Rashim," I correct icily. "Besides, he's not a redhead."

"Right..." Chaim, surely you aren't mocking me? "Looked pretty red to me the other day."

"It looks much redder in sunlight," I shrug. "Anyway. I've agreed to meet him in half an hour, so - cheerio. I'll be off. Have a nice time, kids, see you later."

"Have a nice date," Chaim replies and I roll my eyes as I step past him. Obviously it's no use talking sense to him at the moment. Better just leave them to their own devices. Besides, I don't have time to bicker with Chaim. I'm being expected - not quite yet, that is, but soon enough anyway.

I trot down the stairs, wave goodbye to the guy currently manning the reception - now he is what I call a redhead - and take a shortcut to the park. Oh, I'll be there in good time, no problem. And yet I notice that my step is quickening, so that I have to make a conscious effort to slow down. This won't do. Hurrying is so damn ungentlemanly, so uncool, and Toni is never uncool.

I must be going crazy, though. This is now, what, fourth time that I'll be seeing Rashim. We had an early dinner together in that café, two days after first meeting in that gay bar. Then the next day we were walking in the park and ended up dancing in another nice dance restaurant. We've held hands - yes indeed, I have done something as mushy as walking hand in hand with someone, through a public park, in full daylight. Of course that had to be exactly the time when Chaim and Kim saw us, too... oh, better not think about that too much. Not now. Just blame it on Rashim and hurry up, man!

I reach the street corner where we've agreed to meet and dig up my clock. What? Ten minutes ahead of time... surely I haven't been running? But never mind, I can already see a familiar-looking coppery-brown ponytail swinging closer. Funny how my eye picks it up so easily in a crowd. And now I can see that delicious body again. So lithe, so supple. He smiles to me, raises a hand, slips through the crowd still separating us, and I can feel my answering smile broaden until my cheeks almost hurt. This is insane.

"Hi..." His lips press on mine, I wrap my arms around him and squeeze. Mmm, I like this so much - Rashim kisses well, our tongues engage in a playful battle which I win, for the moment. His one hand is behind my waist, the other is ruffling my hair. Yes, baby, you do taste good. "Great that you're early too, I thought I'd have to wait."

"Have you run away from work?" I try to look stern; he couldn't very easily do that, he works in a shop and he's told me that the owner is a nice guy but has zero tolerance for slackers.

"You'd like that, wouldn't you? Me getting fired because of you?" Rashim grins and shakes his head, the tips of our noses rubbing together. "Oh no, Toni, that would make you too conceited!"

Now listen to the cutie - to make me conceited? If only you knew, honey... but then, I can't deny that I haven't acted quite like myself recently. I mean, this is now the fourth time we meet, and we haven't been anywhere near a bed all the while - not that that would've stopped me before.

Hmm. Okay. Let's rephrase that. We've been kissing, hugging, necking, kissing some more, hanging on each other, dancing so close that you couldn't get a sheet of paper between us. We've squeezed against walls, practically tried to shove a tongue down each other's throat, given our hands considerable freedom. But they haven't roamed inside any clothing. Yes, shocking as it is, we've been pretty decent. No tearing off clothes in the corner of the men's room...

In a way I'm relieved. Relieved, because Rashim seems to not have minded my relative restraint. I simply haven't dared go very far. I couldn't take the humiliation of not being able to - shit, man, just don't think about it. Just do not. I think about it far too much anyway, it's like an infested sore, throbbing somewhere in the back of my consciousness. I can't stop thinking about it.

Oddly enough, when I'm with Rashim I mostly forget about it. I'd understand if it were the other way round, but no. When Rashim is around, I have too many other things to think about. Like right now. He pulls back enough to turn so that we're side by side, his arm winding around my waist. Gods, it feels good when he pulls my arm to rest on his shoulders.

His green eyes flicker to me - even greener than mine, my eyes are actually mostly brown with plenty of green flecks, but his are really green. I like them a lot. "What'll we do?" he asks, smiles to me sideways.

"I'm a bit hungry." I pat his flat stomach. "How about going to eat something?"

"I can't eat too much," Rashim protests. "I have rehearsals tonight."

"What does 'tonight' mean?" Shit, he can't mean it...

"Eight," he specifies. "Sorry about that, I didn't know about it when we agreed to meet today."

"Never mind," I assure him bravely, even though I can't deny that I'm disappointed. I guess I was looking forward to having Rashim for myself tonight, albeit that our activities wouldn't get too intimate anyway. It's weird how I still want to be with him, and that he still wants to be with me. Doesn't appear in the least frustrated, either.

"What're you thinking about?" Oh, have I been quiet? Brooding? I glance at him; he looks slightly worried. "I'm really sorry about the rehearsals - but I can't skip. The guys would kill me."

"It's okay!" I stop to kiss him. "Let's go eat something now, so you still have time to digest it before going there. You choose the place."

He's reassured again, hugs me tighter with one arm and nods. "In that case let's go to 'The Mussel Bowl'. Their salads and noodles are fantastic."

Sure, Rashim. Whatever you say. I'm not starving either, and I've already learned that you know where to go in this city. Lead the way. "Could I sometimes come to watch your rehearsals?"

Rashim chuckles. "I'd say yes, but maybe I'll ask Rith before taking you there. She's the boss, after all."

"Rith?"

"Our teacher." Rashim points towards a narrower street and we turn that way. It's small and quiet, more of an alley really, but his step is certain. "She studied at the Shelinet Dance Academy, and she was a pro for a while, but then she and a partner got injured in an accident. Now she can't really dance any more, but she sure can teach! And I want to make sure that Rith hasn't got anything against it before I take you there."

"A tough lady?" I grin and Rashim nods decisively.

"You bet... it's there, on the left."

Already before we dive into 'The Mussel Bowl', the cloud of drool-inducing smells wafting outside it envelopes us and tells me I'm not going to be disappointed. Okay, so maybe I can't spend the rest of the day with Rashim, and maybe I can't do all the things I would like with him, but in any case I'm sure to enjoy our time together. In more ways than one.

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