Into the Light

28. Take A Chance With Me

Rashim sure doesn't look grumpy any more. Maybe a little languid, but then he's got reason to. He's leaning against me on the seat of the cab, ponytail swaying in the wind, left leg raised to rest on my knees. He may say what he likes but that ankle still hurts him a little, even with the bandage.

We've spent the hottest hours of the afternoon in bed, recovering after the sex and nibbling on pieces of cheese and some biscuits. Neither of us has felt much like getting up earlier, but I don't want to lose the rest of the day - no, I want to show my biggest surprise to Rashim and hear what he says.

And so we are sitting in a cab driven by a smart blonde man and pulled by a shiny, albeit right now rather sweaty, pale bay gelding. I'm so excited that my fingers are twitching, and Rashim's puzzlement has just transformed into gleeful anticipation. By now he's sure he knows where we're headed, and he's barely able to contain himself.

"Toni, you've already given me two big surprises today!" he pleads. "Please, please tell me what it is! We are going to see Chaim's construction site, aren't we? Why don't you tell me? Everybody's been trying to guess, but he's been so infuriatingly tight-lipped about it, just smiles in this totally maddening way!"

I hope this grin won't split my face in two. "So you haven't been able to make him spill it? None of you?"

"No!" Rashim hits his fist on the side of the cab. "Or Kim, either. I was sure I'd manage to worm it out of him, but he just says 'no comments' and purses his lips..." He does a surprisingly good imitation of Kim's cutest pout, and I laugh aloud. "Oh, you're so smug now, aren't you? I hate you!"

"No you don't." His lips simply melt against mine. "And surely you can wait just a little longer? After all this time, a few more minutes?"

"You meant this road, sir, right?" The driver glances over his shoulder and I nod to him.

"Yes, exactly here. Just ignore the signs and please drive as close as you can."

"Yes, sir."

Rashim is hanging over the side as we approach the site. Sure it's surrounded by a fence, but it's daytime and the gate is open. I'm so pleased to see that the surroundings look so finished. There's no trash anywhere, scars left by construction works and transports have been painstakingly covered, and apart from the slightly fresh look that hangs over everything, the house looks like it had somehow sprung out of rock, instead of being shaped by human hands. Just like the 'Cliff House'. Amazing how identical it looks to all those drawings.

"Wow," Rashim sighs. "It sure looks nice! But why on..."

His voice trails away, then he takes a deep breath and snaps his mouth shut. "Oh gods... I'm an idiot. I'm such a bloody idiot!"

"What do you mean?" I try to look innocent, but Rashim just shakes his head.

"Don't give me that face! Of course this isn't Chaim's - he's just been taking care of things, hasn't he? This is your house, Toni, isn't it?"

"Well," I hedge while helping him down from the cab. "You're pretty close to the mark now, but not quite - oops, careful..."

It irks Rashim no end that he actually has to lean on the stick now. He's pretty much avoided even touching it while we descended the stairs from his apartment and he hobbled to the cab, but here there's no way he can go on just hopping on one foot and leaning on me. He has to use his stick to ease the load on his hurt ankle, and by gods does it humiliate him!

I pretend to just amble towards the house with him, hands deep in my pockets, but in fact I'm keeping a close eye on him, ready to help if he loses his balance. With the tight bandage, his foot is stiff and he sure mustn't fall now. Good that even the last few yards to the front door are neatly tiled.

"Oh, good afternoon sir!" Ah, my architect, the eternally enthusiastic blonde. "I got the word that you'd probably be here some time today, so I came here to check how they're progressing." Behind him I can see the athletic form of the foreman. "There's such a buzz going on now that - oh, you must be careful with that foot now!"

I shake hands with both of them, they greet Rashim and then lead us in. The place is really swarming with workmen who peer at us curiously from their various tasks. Rashim eyes them just a touch shyly but soon forgets that he's being stared at, because he has other things to think of. And so have I, for that matter.

Of course I've seen the dozens and dozens of sketches, but it's one thing to see things drawn on paper and quite another to see it and feel it all around, see the stone and wood and metal that I can go and touch if I want to. Oh yes, the view is fantastic. High windows, lots of light. There, in that corner, there'll be a big sofa or something. This door leads to the bedroom. The kitchen, such a dream... And the balustrade lining the living room looks even more ornamental in three dimensions than it did on the drawing board.

It also catches Rashim's eye. He limps closer and peers down, into the spiral staircase. "What's down there?"

"Let's go and see." I frown quickly at the architect who's already opening his mouth, and he obediently closes it again with a conspiratorial nod.

"Just be careful in the stairs, sir," the foreman puts in. "The banister on the other side isn't there yet."

I let Rashim take support from my arm as we go down the stairs. He's too busy watching his step to look around before we reach the end of the stairs, and then he just gapes, head turning slowly around. I follow his gaze, from the shining wooden floor to the mirrors and rails that go all round the room, except for the window on one side, and I notice that he swallows a couple of times.

"Toni?" he says quietly. "Toni, what's this?"

"The studio." I squeeze his waist and feel him lean slightly against me. "So that if we feel like training at odd hours, there's nothing to stop us, you know."

He looks at me slowly. "We?"

"Rashim, I was hoping that you'd live with me here." It comes out as a mere whisper, but my throat is too tight for anything bigger than that. "That we'd live here together. You and me. In our house."

His arms wrap on my shoulders and he just hugs me, buries his face on my shoulder and doesn't say a word. I hug him back, heart beating madly. What is this. Shouldn't I have done this after all? What if he will, after all, say no?

"Rashim?" I whisper at last. He takes a deep breath and raises his head at last, looks at me. His eyes are suspiciously shiny. "Rashim baby, don't you like it?"

He lets out a little, breathless laughter. "Like it? Toni..." A shake of the head, and my stomach twists painfully. "I guess this is what I'll have to get used to, then. After all, who told me to fall in love with somebody like you?"

"What do you mean?" I'm getting slightly desperate, but then he just takes my face between his hands and presses his forehead against mine.

"I'm a perfectly ordinary guy, but you're not," he sighs. "You're Toni the millionaire, and I'll just have to learn to live with that as well. Isn't that right?"

"So..." Damn throat, don't you go on strike now! "So you - you'll live with me? Here, together?"

"Of course, you idiot." His teeth nip the tip of my nose. "I'm sure as hell not letting go of you now that I've got you back! Even though you are a little overwhelming at times. Like now." Then he purses his lips and looks at me, head tilting thoughtfully. "But I think you'll have to promise me something, though."

"Anything, baby!" I try to kiss him properly but he pulls back.

"All right then. I'll come live with you here, on the condition that you come to meet my parents."

Uh... a punch in the gut. "Your - parents?"

"Sure." Rashim nods with determination. "I think it's high time that they get to know you, especially since we're going to be living here together and the whole Dirna is going to know and talk about it. Don't you think it's only fair?"

"But." Of course it's basically only fair, but -

"No buts. We'll go to visit them, and that's that!"

"Rashim..." Oh gods, how does one explain this now, this nervousness and downright trepidation? "What if they don't like me?"

"Rubbish. They'll like you all right. Just be yourself." He nudges me, kisses my chin, and I cling to him tight. "Good heavens, surely you aren't afraid of them? "

"What if I am? I mean, isn't every guy supposed to be nervous when going to propose to the bride's father and -"

"Oh really!" Rashim shakes his walking stick at me. "So I'm the bride, eh? Just watch your tongue, man, or you'll end up sleeping on the floor!"

But he's laughing, and I hug him closer. "Baby, sorry to say that but that's not such a big threat, coming from you. Or aren't we both sleeping on the floor anyway?"

He shakes his head, gaze sweeping the studio. "Ah well... but I just can't believe this all. You are overwhelming, did you know that?"

"What do you mean?"

"This!" His arm waves around. "Toni, I guess it's not such a big deal for you, but for me it is! I mean, for me a house, let alone a place like this, is something to only dream about... but you just decide that you want it and zap! - you get it. That's what might take some getting used to, now that we'll be actually living together.

"But you still want to try?" I know, I'm being greedy and needy but I just have to hear it once more.

"Yes," Rashim says firmly. "I want to. I want you, I want to live with you, every day. I'll get used to it. And so will you."

He rubs his head against my shoulder, then nudges me with his chin. "What's behind that door, anyway? I want to see everything!"

The bathroom section with its basin - vastly oversize for a bathtub, pretty small for an actual swimming pool - stuns him for good. Well, it stuns me too, to be quite honest. We just sigh and stand there, staring at the light that seeps in through the thick glass tiles that form one wall and plays on the floor and walls. I love the colors and the atmosphere, and I can already see the basin full of water, the patterns on the bottom glittering and swaying through it as if alive.

Only when Rashim grants me a sly sideways glance and a tiny, lopsided grin, do I realize that he's also picturing some other uses for it.