Here you'll find

 

Traces of Doubt

 

 

 

 

19. Uncomfortable

The soft hum of the van's engine combined with the whooshing sound of wind along its sleek sides? to create an altogether too soothing background noise. No matter how hard he fought back, his eyelids just wanted to drift closed. And why not? He was physically tired from walking what felt like — and probably was — several kilometers, and mentally exhausted. Totally drained. It'd been a hard day, and now there was nothing to do but sit back and wait.

Juri decided to stop battling his fatigue and burrowed a little deeper into the seat that he'd tilted back for more comfort. A truly phenomenal silence filled the passenger part of the transport, and his breathing deepened. Why not take a nap, to pass the time? Maybe he'd manage to recover enough to grab something to eat a bit later, instead of crashing directly in bed. That'd certainly be a good idea, because if he went to bed too early, he was sure to wake up in the small hours, alert and hungry, with his daily rhythm thrown out of order.

He listened sleepily to the music playing softly from the front, lips twitching into a smile. To think that he had, as a boy, sometimes thought that he might want to become a teacher... That fleeting moment of temporary insanity had lasted just long enough for him to tell about it to his incredulous parents. They hadn't been too convinced of their rather too lively son's aptitude for the profession, although of course they hadn't exactly said so. He'd soon forgotten about it, kept drifting from one thing to another, until finally years and training had taught him how to rein in his energy and only release it when it was needed. Instead of a teacher, he'd somehow found a career as a spy, and yet now he couldn't help thinking back to those times with a slight shudder. A teacher, indeed, who'd have to deal with a dozen or more kids at the same time, day after day — when he was bone-weary after just one day in town in the company of five adolescents.

Well, granted, his five charges weren't exactly your average adolescents. Juri's smile broadened and he twisted around to look at the kids snoozing in the seats behind him. Casper the MC was sitting next to Morris, one of the three SCs, their heads resting temple to temple so that curly reddish hair mingled with straight black-brown. Joachim was curled up in his seat beside Giancarlo, who had emerged victorious from the august lottery ceremony arranged to decide which one from the T-clone quintet would join the first group to visit Trelissac. The third SC, Byron, was currently sprawling across two adjoining seats in a mess of slim limbs, snoring faintly.

It's only fair that they should be exhausted as well, Juri thought fondly. They sure have kept me on my toes for the entire day. Next time I might consider tethering them together and marching them from place to place like that... but then they wouldn't have nearly as much fun. And boy, had they had fun! The five clones had piled into the van early in the morning and flooded their hapless driver Gary with incessant, enthusiastic blabbering all the way to Trelissac, declaring that they could hardly wait to get there.

Luckily the city had awed every single one of them so thoroughly that they'd meekly followed Juri's instructions. None of them had even tried to stray away from the rest of the group, instead sticking close to each other and to their guide and supervisor. They'd skipped most of the sights, although a visit to the top of the Morley Tower had been a must; the clones had looked dreamily over the smoothly dimmed landscape, towards the sea glittering like a pool of black velvet behind rolling dunes. But otherwise just strolling in the parks, streets and malls had been adventure enough.

They'd had lunch in a scenic rooftop restaurant a mere two blocks from the Radysson Estates. They'd spent a long time deliberating on the question of which ice-cream portion to choose as dessert. They'd even wandered into a large bike store to admire a selection of vintage Martinez models. After that the boys had somehow been hungry once more, which had prompted them to find a snack bar and indulge, only to dash off to see still a few more fascinating and totally everyday things before the transport would arrive to their rendezvous point to pick them up.

Yeah, it'd been a busy day and the boys sure had given Juri a run for his money. The identical S-clone 'triplets' Morris, Byron and Joachim had been the biggest stare magnets, and had also startled more than just a few people, but everything had gone well. The boys had bombarded Juri with questions, been mightily curious about their surroundings, and best of all, bonded nicely during the day. It hadn't taken them long to function as a group, even if their 'mission' was just getting to know the city.

They'd been looking out for each other, sharing information and listening with interest while Casper explained the technical details that his MC's eye found fascinating along the way. Giancarlo, too, had blended perfectly with the group, not showing any sign of cockiness towards the others. He'd even deliberately cut the mental link to his brothers soon after their departure from the Base.

Now that was an achievement, Juri thought absently. The plan had worked like a charm: take one boy out of the close-knit little family, throw him in with a few others, and then give this new 'group' something to do and think about together. Giancarlo had at first been clearly distracted by the interference of the other four young TCs in the Base, then shoved them off with determination and concentrated only on his immediate surroundings. He was going to have a field day telling about Trelissac, but the main thing was that he'd been on his own.

A little jerk of the van shook Juri awake, and he decided to join Gary in the front. He scrambled up from his seat and plopped down to the other front seat, next to the driver. Gary, a stout man of about thirty, glanced across the aisle and smiled, one hand reaching to turn the music down.

"Don't bother," Juri waved a hand. "It's not too loud and the kids are asleep anyway."

"Wore them out thoroughly, did you?" Gary chuckled. "Must've been a tough day, so much to see and all."

"Sure was," Juri nodded and yawned. "For me too, trying to keep up with them. But they were really well-behaved, I have to give them that."

"At least they're much more quiet than on the way there," Gary observed. "You sure have a long line of visits coming, if you're taking all of them out in these little groups!"

"Others will start doing the same," Juri said. "And five is a really good number, I think. Quite enough for one guy to look after."

"I don't doubt that!" Gary smiled, eyes on the road ahead. "Knowing that this is their first time out there and all. Who's going to start going to town, apart from you?"

"At least Blaine will," Juri said. "And possibly Lancer, though he's a little reluctant right now. Can't blame him, either, we've got to keep alert in case the Union tries something, and he's one of our key AD gunners."

Gary nodded in silence. "I wonder if there's been any news about the guys off-planet?" he asked a little wistfully.

"I think we'd have heard of it," Juri mused, remembering belatedly that Gary's girlfriend, a nurse, was one of the few female MCs who'd joined the troops sent to the Zodiac system. Even though the SCs weren't nearly as highly engineered — and thus tricky to treat when in need of medication — as T-clones, some experienced personnel had still been deemed necessary. "But as Orwel says, we've got to think that no news is good news. If something really bad had happened, we'd have heard about it for sure."

Gary nodded again, glanced quickly at Juri and added: "Of course all this is easier for me than for some others back in the Base. I mean, Nameeka is staying on the mothership, so I can pretty well count on her to come back eventually, but some of the other guys..."

Juri folded his arms on his chest, suddenly feeling chilled.

"Don't talk about that," he said and swallowed with some difficulty. "As long as we don't hear anything, I prefer to think that they'll all be returning once the mission is over."

"Besides, our guys are making their presence known!" Gary said proudly. "Isn't that the system where they kept Hal prisoner? And now he's free once more!"

Juri hummed in agreement and smothered a sigh. Haldor... now there was a problem.

The dark, solidly built man had arrived nearly a week ago, weary and distrustful. Everyone could understand that well enough; very few people were likely to be at their best after first spending months in a Union prison and then being sent to a place they knew nothing about. Besides, even though the fleet from Jainah had probably played some role in his release, the ground operation had been the sole responsibility of the locals, and Haldor had had no contact with people who might've told him at least something of his destination.

Corinn and Vanya, determined to arrange a smooth landing, had so far handled the situation masterfully. Corinn had volunteered to pick Haldor from the spaceport, and along the way he'd not only supplied the man with heaps of useful information but also practically wrapped him, if not exactly around a sturdy little finger, then at least around his wrist. Hal had also taken an immediate liking to Vanya, introduced as Corinn's 'old buddy'. And even though very few people had initially believed in it, the incredible had happened: the two macho lovers had kept their so far extremely blatant relationship so well under cover that Hal was still unaware of it after spending nearly a week in the Base. Truly, the big guys were capable of astonishing feats when they really set their minds on it. So their plan, to get Haldor first properly settled and comfortable in the Base before offering him more insights into its goings-on, was working well.

However, something else was not working equally well. As expected, Hal had bristled at seeing his cousin for the first time, and the relationship between them was still chilly. Matters were not helped by the fact that Troy was determined not to let this new development come between himself and Salvador, which meant they were usually seen together: side by side, hand in hand, arm in arm. Which in turn got Haldor's hackles up. As far as Juri knew, the cousins hadn't really talked yet. Corinn and Vanya were working on it, but how much progress they'd made was anybody's guess.

Juri blinked as he realized they were almost at the main gate of the Base — of course he had seen the fence for a while already, but the sight hadn't fully registered. He turned around in his seat and couldn't help smiling at the sight. Joachim had gradually slumped so that by now his head was practically in Giancarlo's lap, and Byron seemed to be on the verge of slipping over the edge of his seat and onto the floor.

"Boys," Juri called in his best airline steward voice. "Hello and good morning, gentlemen, it's my pleasure to inform you that our journey's nearly at an end. We'll be back home in another few minutes, so you'd better start waking up."

The clones were stirring. Byron pulled himself up by the armrests yawning widely, and Morris shook Casper's shoulder murmuring something. The SCs obviously were the quickest to wake up, within seconds they were sitting upright while Giancarlo and Casper just blinked owlishly at their surroundings.

"Do you still want something to eat?" Juri asked. "I think you'll do wisely if you rest tonight, and tell your friends about the visit tomorrow."

Giancarlo nodded, fingers raking through a messy mop of golden strands.

"Can't even think straight now," he muttered and hastily covered a yawn with the other hand. "I don't want anything."

"Come on, Gian," Morris pleaded. "Let us go to have just a little something. Then we will all go to bed."

"Well, all right," Giancarlo relented with a pleased smile. "That's a good idea."

When the transport turned to the yard, Juri spotted a group of people waiting for them. Not only Rori, André and Adrien, but also Blaine and Orwel were standing in front of the low building, obviously interested in the outcome of the visit. The boys filed out of the van, suddenly very much awake, and burst into a giddy babbling. Orwel smiled to Juri.

"Looks like you've had fun?" he said, and Juri rolled his eyes good-humoredly.

"We sure did," he chuckled. "And now we're all totally done for. I think we'll all go to grab a little snack and then head straight to bed. Right, boys?"

"Yes, Juri," the boys echoed in unison and trotted obediently towards the canteen. Juri shrugged to the men spreading his arms in fake modesty.

"What can I say? They eat out of my hand now," he grinned. "Come on, let's go. My legs are literally killing me and I swear I'm ready to drop!"

The others laughed and followed him to find a comfortable table in a more peaceful corner of the place. Juri heaved an exaggerated sigh as he saw the cluster of clones that had swarmed to surround the five young heroes of the day.

"Tell us," Blaine urged. "How did it go?"

"Splendidly," Juri declared and greedily grabbed a handful from the bowl of snacks that Rori placed in front of him. "They enjoyed themselves tremendously. We went window-shopping, saw some sights, went to a restaurant..."

"You can't believe how put off the other TCs were when Giancarlo simply dropped out of the link!" Adrien was oozing satisfaction, enough for even Juri to pick up. "This is exactly the thing to do, I tell you. Getting them to really interact with others, not just their own kind!"

"I agree," Juri nodded, mouth full. "But a word of warning to everybody who'll be following in my footsteps: be prepared to walk, walk, and then walk some more. Oh, and did I mention walking?"

Blaine nodded. "Must bear that in mind," he said. "I wish Lancer could be freed from being on alert, though. It'd do him a world of good, to get out of here for a while."

"I'll see what I could do about that," Orwel said. "Though it might be difficult to persuade him to actually do it."

"He's brooding," André sighed. "He really should be distracted for a day or two."

"Uh-oh," Blaine breathed. "This is not good."

The others turned to look and saw that Corinn and Haldor had just entered the room from one door, Lancer from the other. The silver-blond froze in place, then turned sharply on his heels and disappeared as swiftly as he'd come. Corinn's eyes closed for a second, then he seemed to shake himself slightly and continued to walk towards the serving area. Hal followed him, sending a dark glance after Lancer. Orwel's jaw clenched.

"We've got to be able to do something about this," he mumbled under his breath. "The atmosphere is getting worse, and that's the last thing we need right now."

"Corinn and Vanya are doing their damnedest to get Hal integrated," Rori said. "I have faith in them."

"Me too, but how long will it take?" Orwel countered. "And I can't help wondering if they aren't being a little too gentle in their approach. Hal's still glaring daggers at Troy, and Salvador keeps shrinking a few sizes whenever he sees the guy. He'd better get over it pretty quick."

Juri opened his mouth to say something but closed it with a snap and decided to change the topic when Corinn and Hal sauntered closer, mugs in hand.

"Mind if we join you?" Corinn asked and Blaine's hand swept around the table in invitation.

"Sure we don't," he said. "So, you're ready to relax a little after another hard day? How're you settling in, Haldor?"

"Pretty well, I think," Hal said and carefully sipped his steaming drink. "We've been all around the place, and I only got lost once."

"And you've only been here for a few days," Adrien sighed. "I was still getting lost after weeks, and that was all inside this base!"

"Well, I've been a transport and taxi driver," Haldor said modestly. "Can't last long in that line of work without a good sense of direction."

Juri examined the man over the rim of his glass. Hal was slightly darker than his cousin, but where Troy was all rounded lines, the older man's face and whole being were more angular and even his short blackish hair was straight and stiff, almost wiry. And yet the two bore such a strong family resemblance that they could've easily been brothers. If only Haldor's temperament weren't equally angular as his looks, Juri thought. He had a strong gut feeling that he might actually like the man as soon as Hal felt enough at ease to overcome his defensiveness.

"I suppose we have a new man in our logistics team, then?" Orwel said brightly and Corinn nodded.

"Definitely. And he's not half bad with engines, either. He'll be driving transports around pretty soon."

Hal smiled a little awkwardly at the praise.

"Glad to be of some use," he mumbled. "Doing nothing rather gets to me, you know."

No, you're not a bad guy, Juri concluded. Just feeling rather lost, without a proper footing here, and not liking it. But please try to find your place, quick, before somebody gets hurt.

Judging by Orwel's expression, his thoughts were running pretty much along the same lines.

"I think I know how you're feeling," he said. "Being torn out of your own life and into something totally different has that effect — you need to find something to ground you."

Hal shot him a baffled glance and Orwel smiled. "I used to be a prisoner of these damn rebels, you know."

Haldor's jaw dropped. "You? Base Commander?"

"Oh, I still worked as a clone trainer here, in this very base, about two years ago!" Orwel grinned. "That was before Arria kindly asked me, at gunpoint, to please come along and join the gang."

"I'm an even more recent convert," Blaine continued. "Orwel in turn converted me, at gunpoint, when these guys sneaked in and took over the base."

"Talking about Arria," Corinn asked looking around, "where the hell is he?"

"In the Command Center, where else?" Orwel snorted. "Thanks for reminding me that it's high time I go and drag him out of there. If I ever saw a guy who's prone to getting too involved, it's him."

"If he's not there, you might look into the gym," Adrien piped up. "That's the other place where he's spending a lot of time these days."

Orwel nodded. "Yep. I've promised to look after his welfare, and that's what I'll do now. See you later, guys."

"I'll come with you." Blaine stood up as well, and the two tall men stalked out with a determined step. Juri's gaze followed them in slight irritation. Damn, those two are really attached by the hip nowadays. Maybe I'm contemplating the impossible?

"Was that true?" Haldor asked, still dazed by the revelation. "I mean, that they're both — Union guys originally?"

"It is," André said. "Although in reality it's a much longer story than that, of course. But they've both been working years with the S-clones, and that's what ultimately made it so easy for them to switch sides. They'd started to have their doubts about the whole program."

Hal glanced at him and then looked down, embarrassed.

"There's so much I don't know anything about," he sighed. "But I did notice, even while... there, in prison... that not everybody working for the Union was such an asshole as I'd always thought."

He pressed his lips into a hard line and shook his head. "Don't want to think about it, though," he said decisively. "And this whole clone business, that's another thing that I really don't understand. The idea. The whole thing. It's so damn weird."

"Do you think you'd want to know more?" Juri offered, suddenly very alert and awake despite his still aching legs. Here might be a chance to push things forward... "I've only come across it rather recently, myself, and I noticed that knowing more helped me tremendously to get it all sorted out."

"Yeah, weren't you the other guy from Wolves, like Vanya?" Haldor looked interested, but Juri was determined not to get the talk drift to himself.

"That's right," he said. "First came here with Salvador, and that's not so many months ago yet."

The name produced exactly the reaction he'd been trying for: Hal's expression blackened visibly.

"Salvador, Benedict, whatever," he rumbled, but André shook his head.

"Not 'whatever'," he said mildly. "I'm sure you're rather familiar with the MCs by now as you've been dealing with them in the logistics, and you might even know the basics about the SCs, too. But I happen to think that there's a lot that you don't know about us, even though you'd really need to."

"I'm not sure I want to know," Hal said irritably and made to stand up, but a muscular arm flung across his path stopped him. Juri wanted to pat the man on the back — trust Corinn to pick up clues...

"Sit down, Hal," Corinn said, kind but firm. "I happen to agree with André. You need to know certain things, and now is as good a time as any other to hear them."

Haldor scowled but sat back and crossed his arms on his chest. "Okay. I'm listening."

"I'd better get us another round of drinks," Juri said airily and got on his feet. He definitely didn't feel like going to bed any more. "I know from experience that this might be a long talk."

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