Here you'll find

 

Traces of Doubt

 

 

 

 

31. Unambiguous

"Hi there," Hal said and plopped his brimming tray of food on the table. "Any room for me?"

"Sure thing!" Vanya gestured towards the marginally emptier end of the rounded sofa and scooted closer to Corinn who made way for him. "Sit down, man! How was your day?"

"Nothing to complain about," Haldor nearly grinned and attacked his meal. "I've got a new favorite. That new big transport is a dream to drive, I tell you."

"Yeah, I liked it too when I tried it out," Corinn nodded. "I guess the journey back was noisy, though?"

"You bet!" Hal gulped from his mug. "I mean, fifteen clones at a time? Sure I was forewarned, but I didn't really comprehend just how loud the kids can get!"

"So far I've only endured ten at once and even that was nearly ear-splitting," Corinn sympathized. "You at least still appear mostly sane.

"So-so," Hal grunted good-humoredly. "Listening to a bunch of happy kids isn't that bad, really."

Vanya laughed heartily, then winced and his hand rose to rub the back of his head.

"Damn," he muttered irritably. "The last I checked, being merry wasn't on the list of prohibited things."

"Relax," Corinn said with a frown. "Just take it easy, partner. Maybe I shouldn't have let you drive after all?"

"Hey, have you taken the Mustang out today?" Haldor asked. "When will I get my promised ride?"

"Hmm, I guess it's only a question of agreeing on the time," Vanya said. "I guess you're the guy I can trust to sit for an hour or two, glued to the back of my Gorgeous here, without pawing him."

"Idiot." Hal shook his head with a sigh. "Rest assured that I'll be happy to leave the pawing to you."

Corinn smiled broadly at the dark man's expression. Hal was such a different man nowadays, so much less uptight. Fluently listening to jokes about the one topic that only so recently was sure to freak him out completely, even cracking his own by way of reply. Hal still kept a slight distance, but it didn't prevent him from being friends with the numerous gays around and enjoying their company. And even though Vanya and Corinn himself had stuck to their promise not to get too raucous in company, they didn't feel any need to strictly hide their mutual affection any more. It made life so much easier for everybody, and it also allowed the two men to feel more than a little smug at the success of their 'initiation program'.

"Mind if we join you?"

The three men looked up and smiled an invitation to the group standing next to their table. Accommodating all of Orwel, Juri, Dean, Troy, Salvador and Lancer required the retrieval of two extra chairs from a neighboring cluster of furniture, but after some shuffling, rearranging and accusations of space-hogging, everybody was seated and munching happily their meals.

Dean was especially cheerful, having just survived his first 'group tour' to Trelissac, and the general atmosphere wasn't far behind his exuberance. Troy and Sal listened attentively to Juri's urging that they really should consider joining the next groups to town, and Haldor made a show of glaring with blatant disapproval at the little pieces of pastry that Lancer was nibbling.

"Do you really want to go on looking like some famine survivor?" he asked pointing at the offending morsels. Lancer rolled his eyes.

"Juri, I could use some help here," he moaned. "Tell him that I've done nothing but eat the whole day!"

"Actually we did stop quite a few times for snacks today," Juri jumped to the rescue. "And it's no wonder, with all that walking we did, if the kids got hungry every half hour or so."

"Don't mention walking to me," Dean grumbled over a hot drink that he held possessively in two hands, and everybody around the table burst into laughter.

"Hey, that has become a standing joke around here," Vanya observed. "Or is it a 'running' joke?"

"Ha ha, smartass," Dean huffed.

"Guilty as charged!" Vanya clapped a hand on his heart, while Corinn observed under his breath that for a straight guy Dean Blaine sure had an admirable ability to spot a particularly smart-looking male ass 每 which remark promptly made Blaine groan in desperation and more than one other person choke on their meals.

In the ensuing mild chaos it took Haldor a moment to realize that the comm in his pocket was alerting. When he finally did, he dug it up and activated it a little too hastily, judging by the way he flushed deep red immediately after his finger had hit the receiver button. But it was already too late, he was firmly ensconced between Vanya and Troy on the sofa, unable to make a dash for safety, so he could only take a deep breath and reply.

"Hi honey."

An instant hush fell over the table, so complete that it had to be heard to be fully believed. Eight pairs of eyes turned to stare at Hal who squirmed a little, carefully avoiding everyone's gaze, very embarrassed and yet smiling, though not as broadly as he apparently wanted to.

"Yeah, I'm back in the Base. Having dinner with some friends." Hal glanced around, biting his lip as he listened. "Yes, they're here... yes, and some others too."

He resigned to his fate. The others had already heard enough, no use in trying to get anywhere else to continue the call, so he just cradled the comm closer, black-brown eyes going strangely soft. "The journey went well, no problem... No, I didn't bowl any kangaroos over!"

Everyone, including Vanya and Corinn, had nearly stopped breathing, their ears seeming to grow by several inches in an effort not to miss a single word. Hal did not look at any of them.

"I miss you too, baby. I'll let you know when I can come again, sure... What? Well, I'm not sure I want to know..." He listened for a while, eyes going round, then gasped and snapped his mouth shut, the already receding blush making a swift reappearance. "Lin, please! I told you, I'm not alone!"

Troy finally realized that his mug was still hovering in front of his lips and wisely decided to put it back on the table. Lancer just barely managed to swallow his mouthful of juice before it would've spurted out of his nose. He began to cough convulsively and Orwel, sitting next to him, helpfully clapped him on the back.

"Yeah, I'll call you later." Hal smiled tenderly. "Love you too, Lin... bye."

Several jaws dropped open and no one said a word while Haldor carefully replaced the comm in his pocket and grabbed his fork once more.

"What?" he said defiantly and sank the prongs into a piece of steak with one belligerent shove.

"Congratulations, man," Corinn sighed. "Big ones! Does this mean you've made up with her and all is well again?"

"You could say so," Hal nodded. Despite his obvious embarrassment a truly charming smile was irresistibly tugging at the corners of his mouth. "We're fine again. There were just... some things we... needed to get settled."

"I'm betting you got those settled during your latest overnight visit, right?" Vanya slapped Hal on the shoulder and, incredibly, managed not to give in to the urge to waggle his eyebrows. Considering that it was Haldor he was speaking to, that gesture would've been simply too lewd. "Ohh man, isn't this great! Do we perhaps get to meet her at some point?"

"Don't you be so damn hasty!" Juri admonished. "I'm sure Hal's going to introduce her to us when he thinks the time is right."

"Yeah, maybe I will, " Hal grunted. "It does depend on a few things... such as, who can behave himself and who can't."

"I think I need something to drink," Lancer said weakly, still wiping his eyes after the coughing fit, and stood up grabbing his glass from the table. Orwel shook his head.

"As long as you remember that fruit juice is not good for the windpipe," he called after Lancer.

"I'm so glad for you, Hal," Troy said earnestly. "You and Lin, wasn't that so?"

Hal nodded almost shyly. The others around the table were eyeing alternately him and each other, and in an unspoken agreement they steered the conversation to other, less personal topics. Lancer, too, returned soon enough with a new glass of something yellowish and was just about to sit down when it was Orwel's turn to start and fumble for his comm.

"I wonder what the Supreme Commander wants," he muttered. "Should've taken the opportunity and dragged him out of there earlier... Yes, Arria?"

He jumped on his feet, gave Juri a quick nod and without further ado made a beeline for the door. "Yeah, sure, I'm on my way already..."

The others stared after him.

"What the hell was that about?" Juri frowned in consternation.

"I hope not what I'm thinking," Lancer said under his breath, fingers drumming nervously on his glass. Troy and Sal shared an alarmed look but Dean just shook his head.

"I don't think it's an attack," he said.

"I sure hope not." Vanya's expression blackened and Corinn placed a casual hand on his partner's wrist.

"Take it easy, sugarmuffin," he murmured but Vanya merely shot him an exasperated look, for once not going with the joke.

"Yeah, I guess that's what I am nowadays," he grumbled. "Can't even give my two cents for the base any more."

"Vanya, you're too hard on yourself," Lancer admonished. "You've been badly injured, and that's nothing to be ashamed of."

"But it happened ages ago!" Vanya spat, pushed himself up and stalked away.

Corinn shook his head with a sigh, stood up as well, and followed him out of the canteen. Juri grimaced in sympathy.

"He's nervous about the operation," Hal grunted. "Can't blame him, either. In his shoes I'd be scared shitless."

Lancer sipped gloomily from his glass.

"So would I," he said. "But then that'd be nothing new. I just hope he can have it soon. Better have that out of the way and our loudmouth back to normal."

Corinn stepped out of the door and glanced searchingly around. It was easy enough to spot what he was looking for: Vanya was standing a few meters away, leaning against the canteen wall, head thrown back and arms folded defensively on his chest. Corinn sighed and walked slowly closer.

"Vanya," he said in a low voice. "Calm down."

"I'm perfectly calm!" A clenched fist hit hard on the wall next to his thigh. Corinn snorted quietly, took the last steps separating him from his partner, and wrapped an arm around Vanya's shoulders.

"Right," he said and squeezed gently. "You almost have me convinced, you know."

Vanya let out an almost inaudible gasp when fingers dug into knotted muscles.

"I fucking hate the whole thought," he rasped. "It's not that I wouldn't trust the docs to know exactly what they're doing. Of course they know, they do it every day. But 每 goddamn it, it's my head they're going to be poking! My head, my brain, my thoughts, my memories..."

Corinn pressed silently closer, spooned his massive body to match with Vanya's every curve and plane, breathed in the man's familiar, heady scent.

"I'm afraid too," he admitted huskily. "But it's gonna be all right. They'll sort out whatever it is that's giving you those blasted headaches, and then you'll be okay again."

Vanya's tenseness was slowly melting in the embrace, he rubbed his forehead on Corinn's cheek and bowed his head enough to suck on the side of the man's neck. Corinn hissed.

"This goddamn waiting drives me crazy," Vanya growled, teeth nipping harder. "If only they'd come and say 'right, we're doing it tomorrow and now we'll start knocking you out for it', and then it'd be over. Instead of this waiting, and waiting, and bloody waiting..."

Corinn bit his lip not to groan at the persistent gnawing close to his jugular vein.

"It seems that the whole life is one big wait nowadays," he managed in a relatively steady voice. "For the guys to come back, for the Union to come up with some new trick, for the next batch of clones to get to Trelissac... ouch..."

"You'll have a nice bruise there," Vanya observed smugly and licked Corinn's tingling neck. "Something to show the guys. At least I'm still good for something."

"Vanya..." Corinn grabbed the man tighter and kissed him ferociously. "I know how this all gets to you, and I know you hate feeling useless. But you're not useless, and besides, this is only temporary anyway."

"I should just walk to Edm谷 and tell him to get me sent to the hospital he's chosen," Vanya mumbled. "This goddamn stalling with it is too much luxury. We can't really afford it. The sooner the better."

Corinn ground their hips roughly together. "It's because of me you're forced to wait," he said reluctantly. "I want to be there with you, but I can't very well be on call if I'm in Trelissac, or worse, on the other side of the planet."

Vanya sighed, head drooping to rest on his partner's shoulder. "Are we pathetic or what? Please don't answer, that was purely rhetorical."

"I'm the pathetic one," Corinn snorted. "Reduced into blubbering jelly without you around, as everybody could see back when you were injured in the first place. If that's not pathetic, then I don't know what is."

"I just haven't had the chance to beat your performance, Gorgeous, you've taken too good care of yourself!" Vanya squirmed a little, pressed as he was between the wall and Corinn, and pulled the man in for another searing kiss.

"My toys aren't nearly as dangerous as yours," Corinn breathed into Vanya's mouth, several minutes later. "Partner... how about some sex?"

"Consolation sex?" Vanya cocked his head and raised a pale eyebrow. "Hmm..."

"Bah," Corinn huffed. "Encouragement sex, perhaps? For both of us?"

"Not against the wall," Vanya decided. "Bed's better."

"All right," Corinn said and pulled himself free. "Let's go find one then."

They hadn't taken more than a few steps before they froze at the penetrating sound of an all-base signal. Both men had just enough time to glance at each other in alarm before the loudspeakers, placed all around the base to make sure that nobody could possibly miss hearing them, came to life with Arria's rich voice.

"Important information to everybody here in Plains Base: we have just received a communication from our friends off-planet. The mothership is right now entering our system and is currently headed for Jainah. It will reach the planetary orbit in approximately twenty hours. After that, our battle forces and support staff will return home from a successful mission in the Zodiac system."

In the absence of anybody else to hug, Corinn and Vanya grabbed each other in a bone-crunching grip and hooted in triumph, only to fall silent again as Arria continued.

"However, it is also my sad duty to remind us all that the mission has not been accomplished without sacrifices. Some of our friends will be returning home only in fond memory, and every one of them will be sorely missed. The following people have given their lives in the battle against the Ziroshel Union..."

The two men standing outside the canteen were not the only ones holding their breath as they listened to Arria's voice, flinching at each name and fearing the next. Time itself seemed to stand still as the list of names went on 每 but, everything considered, it went on for a surprisingly short time. When Arria fell silent once more, Corinn and Vanya stared at each other, frowning in incredulous relief.

"Not more?" Vanya said at last. "Was that really all?"

"I was fearing much, much worse." Corinn exhaled slowly and swallowed with difficulty. "Well, I'm really glad to hear that we've lost so few people, but... but..."

"I know." Vanya hugged his partner close shaking his head. "Shit, to think that those guys won't be around any more. Neimann... Baradey... Maschani... oh fuck."

"Tough on Percy," Corinn mumbled. "Maschani and him, they're just like me and Fonzo. Boys from the same neighborhood. Known each other practically always. Like losing a brother."

Vanya nodded, then his head jerked up.

"Listen to that ruckus inside!" he yelped. "We're in the wrong place, mate. C'mon!"

"You're right, Handsome." Corinn nodded with determination. "Time to join the party!"

The canteen had gone crazy with people cheering, toasting, hooting and dancing about. The men around their table were engaged in a grab-and-hug session, and when Corinn and Vanya reached the group, they were pulled in without question.

"They're back!" Lancer was laughing and crying at the same time, planted a watery kiss somewhere near Corinn's cheek and then pushed the man at an arm's length. "Did you hear? Maschani 每 Zdenek Maschani is dead."

"We heard." Corinn swallowed thickly.

"I remember it, it was him who requested 'Soar Away' in the farewell party." Lancer wiped ineffectually his eyes. "I can still see him, standing there... Oh god, it feels so wrong to be this happy when not everybody's returning."

"I know!" Corinn hugged him tight. "But don't we have the right to be happy because so many of them are coming back?"

"Of course we do," Juri said firmly. "And hey, there's more information coming our way right now!"

Orwel and Arria stopped by the door, glanced first around and then at each other, and marched to the reveling group. Arria, looking at the same time years younger and extremely exhausted, sank to sit on the sofa and grabbed the first forgotten mug from the table. He sniffed at it with a frown, then just shrugged and tossed its contents down his throat.

"Did you talk to them?" Dean asked enthusiastically. "Are the Wolves coming for a visit again? How was the mission?"

"It was just Oysten and Heywik to start with," Orwel said with a broad grin. "But Osip couldn't resist joining them to see Arria."

A very becoming pink hue invaded the blond commander's face, and for a moment he looked deceptively like a love-struck schoolboy.

"No, the Wolves are not coming down this time," he said. "The mission's been a resounding success and their performance has been phenomenal. So few casualties to report. And yet..."

Arria's expression sobered. Orwel shot him a strict glance under a raised eyebrow, and the blond man pulled himself together.

"You're right, Orwel," he said. "The guys deserve a hero's welcome, and that's what we'll give them."

"Arria?" Adrien and Terry had sauntered closer. "Edm谷 didn't want to call you 每 he was wondering if there are any wounded guys who'd perhaps require intensive care?"

"Indeed there are," Orwel said. "We were going to contact him soon anyway. There are some who'll be brought down in the transports because of their injuries. Edm谷 will have a full list, with names and closer information, first thing in the morning."

Arria sighed.

"Percy's among the most severely wounded," he said under his breath. "And there are a few SCs who are pretty bad, too."

"Terry? Adrien?" Salvador looked earnestly at his 'brothers'. "I know there are loads of specially trained MCs and other people around... but please tell Edm谷 anyway that if there's anything at all I can do to help, I'll be happy to."

"Both of us," Troy confirmed.

"Will do," Adrien smiled. "We'll let him know."

"Now, folks!" Haldor navigated back towards the table carrying a fully loaded tray of drinks. "This calls for a proper toast. And no worry, you tele-thingies, the red ones haven't been anywhere near to an opened bottle of alcohol, so they're for you."

That one toast, accepted with much grinning and nodding, led to a second and then a third, but after that Arria got up with a shake of his head.

"No way, guys, not a drink for for me," he said sternly. "I suggest that we all retire soon. Tomorrow's going to be a long and emotionally straining day, and not only for us commanders."

He cast a significant glance at Lancer.

"I'm not going to be able to sleep a wink," the silver-blond said dreamily. "Too nervous, too excited..."

"Oh no!" Corinn groaned. "Don't tell me we're gonna have to knock you out again?"

"Not wise, if I may give you a hint," Vanya piped in. "I mean, welcoming Scott either hung over or overtired is not a good idea! You'd better be well rested, bright-eyed, bushy-tailed..."

"You two are incorrigible," Lancer huffed. "And since I observe I'm going to be mercilessly teased around here, I hereby call it a day and crawl to bed."

"A very good idea," Juri nodded. "Because, if everything goes according to schedule, the guys should be landing at about this time tomorrow, and I'm sure there isn't a single person here who'd want to miss that occasion for anything!"

Lancer flashed him a dashing smile over his shoulder and waved a victory sign.

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