Here you'll find

 

Traces of Doubt

 

 

 

 

24. Unawares

The drink was scalding hot, its heat seeped through the thick walls of the mug and to the long fingers curving protectively around it. It smelled bittersweet, slightly spicy, vapor rising in a curling wisp from its surface. Adrien smelled it, half-closing his eyes, felt it with his lips and decided to wait. He didn't particularly want to burn his mouth this morning. Without a look he turned, cradling the steaming mug in both hands, and began to walk towards the table where he already knew Andr¨¦ and his partner to be seated.

"Morning," he said and Rori raised his head to nod in response. No visible reaction from Andr¨¦, just a half-hearted mental touch that disappeared as quickly as it had come. Long hair had been pulled into a loose braid that was hanging on his left shoulder, looking quite as limp as the hand that was absently caressing the glass of juice on the table. Adrien sank into the chair opposite to him and smothered yet another yawn.

"Haven't slept well?" Andr¨¦'s mouth quirked as he shot a weary glance across the table.

"I guess you know the answer just as well as I do," Adrien sighed and ventured to take a tiny gulp of his drink. "Been with Terry this morning?"

"He just came in," Rori said, nodding towards the door.

He was trying to hide his small grin, mostly with success, but not quite. Merely looking at the T-clones this morning caused a bubble of laughter to rise inside him, and he knew they had pointedly avoided even the tiniest mental communication with each other before properly waking up. He also knew the reason for it, and it amused him ¨C even if he hadn't been totally immune to it, or rather, its repercussions...

After a few minutes, Terry shuffled to the quiet company sitting, slumping or sprawling around the table, and greeted them with a nondescript grunt before leaning elbows on the tabletop and digging fingers into his hair to support a suspiciously heavy-looking head.

"Aren't we quite the merry party this morning?" Rori said mischievously. "Bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, eh?"

Three pairs of cerulean eyes were raised to stare morosely at him. Adrien turned slowly to level a suspicious look at Andr¨¦.

"Is he really that ignorant, or is he just pretending?"

"Pretending," Andr¨¦ assured him. "Believe me, he does know well enough."

"We've got to do something about it," Adrien said with determination. "We can't put it off any more, ready or not. I know Sal shrinks away from the idea, but he must be taught to access his mental abilities ¨C and to keep them in rein, whatever happens."

"We must tread carefully, though," Terry mused. "Especially now. He's bound to be touchy at the moment."

"And we don't want him to be mortally embarrassed," Andr¨¦ added. "But you're right, Adrien. We've got to talk to him still today. Once it's started, it's going to go on, if his reactions last night are anything to go by."

Rori couldn't help himself any more: he snickered into his mug. Adrien studied him wryly.

"It's all very well for you to laugh," he said. "I suspect you got lucky as well."

"Sure he did," Andr¨¦ grinned lazily and stretched his slim limbs. "Couldn't help myself."

"Spare me and my innocent ears!" Terry rolled his eyes and tried to disappear into his own mug. The other T-clones chuckled.

"I hope the kids weren't affected?" Andr¨¦ asked. Adrien shook his head.

"Didn't notice a thing when I checked on them a while ago," he said. "They're such a closed loop in themselves, anyway. No, they were awake and all abuzz, pestering Dima about today's visit to town and generally being themselves. I'm sure I'd have detected something if they had caught it."

"That's good at least," Terry sighed. "So Dima is going with Orwel's kids today... oh, hi, Juri!"

"Hello to you beauties," the dark man grinned. "Yeah, Dima is the lucky one today, and I suppose he's bouncing from the walls by now? I just called Orwel, they're ready and the MC, Mick, is with them as well. Our transport will be coming in about fifteen minutes."

"Sure he is," Adrien smiled. "I'll tell him to get himself to the yard in a moment."

"Good. I'd better go and get my things, too." Juri checked the time and tucked his comm into his pocket. "Corinn's always punctual."

"Corinn? I thought Hal was going to drive you," Rori said.

"He was, but he switched at the last minute," Juri explained. "Dunno what's happened, Corinn informed me of the change and said something about Hal being awfully grumpy since his latest visit to town. I smell girl trouble."

"Damn, has he quarreled with the spiffy redhead?" Terry was all sympathy. "Too bad. And it looked so good!"

"Probably nothing serious," Juri shrugged. "But really, I need to trot off now, otherwise the whole assembly will be waiting for me and that'd be too embarrassing."

"He's always so enthusiastic about it," Rori said admiringly as Juri waved a hand and strode briskly out of the canteen. "Always complaining how the kids squeeze every last drop of energy out of him, and yet you can see that he's loving every minute. I admire him."

"It was a lucky stroke for us that he's so hotly wanted by the Union," Adrien agreed. "He's not likely to leave this planet any time soon, and it sure looks like he has no desire to leave, either."

Terry smiled a little smugly.

"He's particularly enthusiastic today," he said innocently, and Andr¨¦ arched a sculpted eyebrow at him.

"You naughty, naughty boy, spying on others..."

"Don't try to claim you didn't catch it," Terry shot back, "you who always catch everything!"

"Talking about which." Rori straightened in his chair, ignoring the T-clones who were making faces at each other to accompany whatever mental jibes they were hurling across the table. "Andr¨¦, seriously, don't you think we ought to act immediately? I'm sure they would appreciate it if we were as discreet as possible."

"You're absolutely right." Andr¨¦ emptied his glass of juice and stood up with astonishing briskness, considering his earlier lethargy. "Let's see... yes, they're awake. Come."

The exited the canteen side by side and headed purposely towards the accommodations building. Reaching the correct door didn't take more than a few minutes, and the two men turned to look briefly at each other before pressing the call button.

The door took a while to open, and when it did, it revealed a surprised-looking Troy who'd obviously dressed in some haste, as his loose shirt was only halfway done and a towel was hanging around his neck.

"Good morning!" Andr¨¦ smiled. "Mind if we come in? There's something we'd like to talk about with you."

"Sure." Troy stepped out of the way gesturing towards the armchairs. "Sal's in the bathroom... Sal, you ready soon? Andr¨¦ and Rori are here!"

"I'll be ready in a moment," came the soft voice from behind the door.

Troy looked curiously at the visitors who sat down and relaxed in the minimalistic-looking but comfortable seats. The little apartment had by now begun to show the personal touch of its occupants. Salvador's love for blue was evident: a rug with ink-dark stripes alternating with electric blue had been thrown on the small sofa, a picture showing brilliant sky and a glittering ocean shone on the wall, and even the blinds screening out the hottest sunlight were blue. The room looked cozy, lived-in. It looked like a home.

"What is it?" Troy inquired and tossed his towel into the bedroom, short black hair still damp and curling a little. "I hope nothing bad's happened?"

"Absolutely not," Andr¨¦ assured him. "We just wanted to talk to you about something that we've been putting off for a while now. We've figured that it can wait, but now is the time to take it up."

Rori nodded and Troy cocked his head questioningly sitting down as well. "Oh? What is it then?"

"We know that so far Sal has been very reluctant to even hear about his mental abilities, let alone start practicing how to use them." Andr¨¦ crossed his legs and both saw and felt how Troy immediately recoiled from the topic. "But you see, he must learn."

"But why?" Troy countered. "If he doesn't want to, why should he? You are comfortable with it, but he's not. He doesn't like the idea!"

"It's not quite that simple," Andr¨¦ said patiently. "Like it or not, his abilities are there, in him. There's no escaping the fact. And what's more, even if he doesn't intentionally use them, that doesn't mean he might not do it without meaning to."

"He can't help it, Troy," Rori added. "For a T-clone, it's as natural as breathing."

Troy shook his head. "How can you know?"

"We can see it," Andr¨¦ said. "Granted, he wants to avoid even thinking about what he can do with his mind, and it's also true that he's really good at blocking his abilities whenever he's around us, or when we try to reach him mentally. But when he's relaxed or unsettled, they surface. He projects, and he receives. It's a fact."

Troy frowned but Andr¨¦ didn't give up.

"There are numerous instances where he evidently has been doing just that. Juri's experiences on TerraFour are a notable example. We've already established that Juri is a lot like Rori in one respect: he's empathic, and he's very quick to tune in with us. He's told us that when he first encountered Sal and his guardian, he kept having most peculiar feelings ¨C fear, hatred, confusion, even flashes of pain. He was picking up things that Sal was projecting without knowing it himself."

"Also, he wondered why Sal trusted him so completely and instantly, even after the treatment he'd got from Calvin," Rori continued. "But it's easy to explain. Sal knew that whatever else Juri might've been after, he definitely wanted to help. And so Salvador, sick and unbalanced and afraid and exhausted, latched on to Juri ¨C because he could feel that this man meant no harm to him."

Troy was chewing his lower lip, eyebrows knotted. "Okay, I suppose that makes sense. But I can't see why he should learn to use it any more than ¨C"

"Troy, that's not nearly all," Andr¨¦ interrupted him gently. "Let me go on, okay?"

Troy nodded, still looking more than a little dubious.

"As I said, Sal projects a lot when he's not really concentrating on keeping things inside. We all tend to do that, but the more we learn, the better control we have over what we do." Andr¨¦ laced his fingers together on one knee. "And even then, there are moments when things tend to spill over. It's all about control. If you don't know that you're doing something, if you don't know how to do it, then there's very little you can do to stop doing it. Right?"

Again a nod from Troy whose frown was steadily deepening.

"What're you actually trying to tell me, Andr¨¦?" he asked suspiciously. Andr¨¦ inhaled slowly and pursed his lips together.

"Now we come to the embarrassing part," he said apologetically. "You see, as I said earlier, the moments when spillover happens are moments when a T-clone is somehow unsettled. It might be fear, or excitement, or relief, or anger, or... extreme physical pleasure."

Troy's eyes went very round. He opened his mouth, closed it with a snap, then jumped on his feet and turned away, hands clutching convulsively his upper arms.

"Oh god..." He swallowed thickly, head hanging. "Oh my god... you mean... you... last night..."

"Exactly." Andr¨¦'s voice was very soft, he exchanged a look with Rori who made a little grimace of sympathy. "I'm awfully sorry, Troy. It's just that we couldn't help knowing what was happening."

Troy buried his burning face in his hands, but before anybody could do anything, the bathroom door burst open and a very flustered Sal emerged. He didn't pay the slightest attention to the two visitors as he dashed to his friend and grabbed him by the shoulders.

"Troy? What's the matter? Troy!"

"Oh Sal..." Troy's arms snaked around the blond with amazing swiftness and he buried his face into Salvador's neck pulling him close. "I can't..."

The rest was muffled by the collar of the pullover that Sal was wearing.

"What is it?" Salvador hugged him equally tight, looking more than a little alarmed.

"Nothing dangerous," Andr¨¦ put in reassuringly. "He's just very embarrassed."

"What for?" Salvador peered at them warily, hands rubbing Troy's back, body pressing against his with giddy enthusiasm. "Troy, please, what's the matter? Why are you so ashamed?"

He nuzzled his cheek against the dark man's face and sighed, eyes fluttering closed. Rori glanced at Andr¨¦ who swallowed and took a deep breath, and his eyebrows jumped up when he realized what was happening: Sal was projecting again.

"Troy, Salvador, please sit down!" Rori said in his most professional tone. "We need to talk about something, right now."

That distracted Sal enough, he leveled a querying look at the guests and reluctantly pulled a little further from Troy. "All right... Troy, love, come on!"

The two young men occupied the sofa, and Rori bit the inside of his cheek as he noticed Salvador wince a little when searching for a comfortable position. Troy was studiously avoiding everybody's eyes, still blushing heavily and trying to compose himself, but his arm remained firmly around the blond clone's waist.

"So, let's get to the topic!" Andr¨¦ said matter-of-factly. "Even though you don't like to think about it, Salvador, you're still a T-clone. And we need to talk about what the T means."

Sal was about to jump on his feet but Troy's arms tightened around him and kept him in place.

"Sal, please calm down. Take it easy. This is important."

"I don't want to!" Salvador insisted. "I don't want to hear about it, I don't want to think about it! Nothing good has ever come out of that!"

"There you are wrong," Andr¨¦ said. "And I'm afraid you really must listen this time. Please."

Troy pulled his friend close, murmured something, held him tight, one hand creeping to push blond strands away from his eyes and to cup his face. Andr¨¦ watched in fascination as Salvador almost melted into the embrace and finally gave a tiny nod. Troy looked at the two men, flustered and yet in control of the situation.

"Okay, please go on now."

"All right. You see, Sal, even if you don't realize it yourself, you are using your abilities all the time."

Again Salvador was about to protest but Andr¨¦ raised a silencing finger. "Yes you are. And you've had the fortune, or misfortune, to meet a couple of particularly sensitive non-enhanced humans. Troy clearly is one, and Juri is another. You've been communicating with them mentally without knowing it yourself. I'm betting that you do it all the time with Troy. It's instinctive, it's something you do subconsciously, and there's nothing wrong with it."

"So why should I learn more about it?" Salvador demanded. "Couldn't I go on like this?"

"Unfortunately it's not that simple!" Andr¨¦ fingered his braid, like always when he was upset. "When you do it without actually knowing, you have no control over it. That's when spillover happens."

"What's spillover?" Troy put in.

"Spillover is when others overhear the communication without meaning to," Rori said. "And before you say that the others should just stop listening, I say that it's not quite that simple."

"No, it's not altogether simple," Andr¨¦ confirmed. "If the spillover is only mild, it's easier to ignore ¨C that's the same as deciding not to listen. But sometimes it's very ¨C uh ¨C loud, and then it's impossible to overlook. Only the person from whom it comes can do something about it. It's a little like standing outside a house with lots of noise inside. If the doors and windows are open wide, it's impossible to escape it. If you put your hands on your ears, you can muffle it, but not silence it completely. The only alternative is that the house has thick walls and no holes in them."

"You mean there is spillover... from me?" Sal's eyes widened in alarm.

"Precisely," Andr¨¦ said regretfully. "Not right now, for example. When any one of us is nearby, you're closed tight as a clam. But we're still sort of tuned to the same frequency, and it happens when you're relaxed or preoccupied."

Judging by the deep crimson shade that began to creep on Salvador's fair complexion, realization was dawning.

"You can't mean," he said in hoarse whisper. "You're saying that..."

"Yes, Salvador. Last night, we simply couldn't help knowing what was happening."

Andr¨¦, blushing as well, suddenly found his carefully manicured fingernails fabulously fascinating. Sal groaned and burrowed to Troy's chest so that his face disappeared completely from sight. "It hit us all, me and Adrien and Terry. Not the kids, though."

"That's a good thing at least," said a tiny voice from the blue pullover. Rori swallowed a chuckle, somehow managing to change it into a cough, and Andr¨¦ smiled broadly.

"I agree. But perhaps you now understand better why you need to practice?"

"Definitely," the small voice assured, blond head nodding vigorously, and one blue eye peered out. "What do I need to do?"

"My suggestion is that once you've had breakfast, you come to the T-complex. I'll get Adrien and Terry to join us, and we can start telling you about it," Andr¨¦ said practically. "It's not really all that complicated. And Troy is welcome with you. After all, the two of you are likely to have some kind of a link going already, like I have with Rori."

"What?" Troy looked instantly fascinated. "Do you mean Rori can do it too?"

"Not really do it," Rori said, "but we still can communicate with Andr¨¦ quite a lot. He's the active part, but when he pulls me in, we can do many things anyway. It's really wonderful, and with a little practice I'm sure you'll be able to do the same."

Troy nodded enthusiastically and hugged Salvador tighter. "Did you hear that, Sal? Isn't it great?"

Sal nodded again, and Rori and Andr¨¦ stood up. "Good! Maybe we'll now leave you to get ready for breakfast ¨C we'll see you soon, right?"

Both young men assured their willingness and the two mentalists exited the room.

"There sure is a lot going on between them, on the mental plane," Andr¨¦ said.

"I'm sure you're right. And I'm also sure that Troy's dislike towards the idea has so far played quite a role in Sal's attitude, too," Rori added.

"Yeah, they've been amplifying each other's feelings," Andr¨¦ mused. "Now that Troy's so curious and enthusiastic, I'm sure that'll go a long way in keeping Sal's interest up."

"Isn't that a good thing?" Rori grinned. "By the way, you did something to keep Sal out of the way long enough to tell Troy what'd happened, didn't you?"

"Of course!" Andr¨¦ shrugged nonchalantly. "Damn hard, though, suggesting things without letting him realize I was doing it... and then when Troy freaked out, I knew I'd lost the game."

"Well, it worked long enough," Rori reasoned. "Hmm, with a link like theirs... I guess I'll be able to tell Troy at some point just what kind of effect it has when having sex with the TC you're linked to."

"Oh!" Andr¨¦ stopped in the middle of the corridor and tilted his head appraisingly. "How long do you think they'll need for breakfast?"

"Long enough," Rori assured throatily. "And stop that right now, Andr¨¦, or we won't get to our lodgings in time. I know this isn't accidental spillover."

"Fair enough!" Andr¨¦ turned on his heels with a wink.

Inside the apartment, Salvador and Troy were still huddled together on the sofa, noses touching, arms wound around each other. Sal wiggled a little, nibbled Troy's lips and smiled dreamily.

"I'm still a bit afraid of it," he mumbled indistinctly.

"But you need to learn," Troy reasoned. "I'm sure they know what they're talking about. You need control over it ¨C or do you want them all to know every time we... have sex?"

Sal squeaked, dropping his head against Troy's collarbone. "Certainly not!"

"Well then, we need to do something about it!" Troy said gently. "How're you feeling?"

"Wonderful. And sore." Salvador kissed his jawline and sighed. "And I really want to know how to control this 'spillover' before we do it again."

"I won't do it again before you've stopped hurting!" Troy frowned down to Sal who smiled impishly, one finger finding its way inside his shirt front.

"Oh, but didn't you say you knew of other ways too?"

Troy groaned, blushing once more. "Sal... breakfast. Right now."

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